Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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