So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
