He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So vagazzling was a success
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
