No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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