booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
