i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
