this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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