so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
