I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
