I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize