So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
