Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
