I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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