If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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