How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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