Don't EVER smell your tampon
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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