But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
