Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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