everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
