What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
