i just google imaged poop.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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