Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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