They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
