Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
