I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
