i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
