I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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