Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
wanna go halves on a baby?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need to calm my uterus...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
