Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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