so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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