Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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