I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize