Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you will always have a special place in my vag
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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