Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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