Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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