So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
