I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
