Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize