Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize