okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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