next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
