you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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