Taylor Swift is so right about you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dick very happy bro
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
