One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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