Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
