Im at strip club and am horny
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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