I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I need moral support for this bender
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize