im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
