This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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