I want to make a zoo with you.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
