so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The air was thick with penises
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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