hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
