D3 body, D1 cock
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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