I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
