Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
