I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize