its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
